U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
