I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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