I'm gonna have a badass scar
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
