yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
