Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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