he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
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