He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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