It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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