shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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