she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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