I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
