No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
