so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
