I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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