id be glad to
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
