he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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