we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize