'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
