Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize