this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
