You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
