ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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