Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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