If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
