we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
