its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
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Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize