i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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