He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i think i have two assholes
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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