Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im holly from the hills drunk
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
