I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
