i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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