i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think I won the penis lottery.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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