Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
