i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
