I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
