Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
