I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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