Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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