Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
