I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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