my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
