beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize