Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
whose parrot is this?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
