he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
