So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
