when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
