just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
wow bdsm is so cute
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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