My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
this is an emotional support booty call
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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