I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize