Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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