thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.