Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
