I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.