THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
