I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This baby is an asshole
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
