we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
