I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
