there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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