Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
