that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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