I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
