Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
