The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
