Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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